


I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know)

by MarcellaBianca



Series: Since You've Been Around [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 12:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcellaBianca/pseuds/MarcellaBianca
Summary: In which there is exam stress, a needed break, and some unrepentant holiday fluff.





	I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know)

**Author's Note:**

> This is all Brenda's fault.

Grading will eventually kill him, Chris decided as he slumped over his laptop screen. It was the sixth hour of hell. He got saddled with a lower level English course that semester, and while the students were nothing but barely bottled enthusiasm and a much needed jolt of energy and good humor in the early  hours of the day, their writing skills hadn't been developed yet. Meaning Chris had to spend more time with each paper. Meaning Chris wanted to get his brain sucked out through his eyeballs.

His office was located on the second floor of the Liberal Arts and Sciences building. He even has a window - a crazy luxury, when his first office as a mere teaching assistant was a dark cell in the back hallways shared with four other people. When he completed marking up a paper, Chris would get up and look out over the quad for a few moments, to readjust his eyes and stretch his neck. Then, back to the grind.

At that point in the day, everything started to get sore. His fingers stiffened up from the constant typing. Back in a perma-hunch. Shoulders up to his ears with the stress. And he hadn't even gotten to the edits from his committee on the second draft of his third book, a survey of post-Revolution children's biographies that he was working on even before he met Sebastian. Not that Sebastian wasn't an enormous help with research and encouragement and much needed gentle reminders to get the fuck away from the computer and stretch. 

His thoughts tended to run away from him at times. It's been a problem since he was a kid. Too much going on in his head. His mom calls it "brain noise." "Just gotta tell it to be quiet," she'd advise him, when things would come up and Chris would feel the icy hands of panic grip his throat. 

This wasn't at that point yet. But he could feel the icicles start to form.

He was contemplating going down to the teacher's lounge and massacring a plate of the orange creme blossom cookies Scarlett brought to the department Cocoa and Cookie party when his phone lit up. A message from Sebastian, who preferred to grade at his apartment.  _Alive?_

_Barely. If I have to tell one more student to use proper MLA formatting when we've discussed it forty million times I'm going to lose my mind.  
I miss you._

_SEB: *Frowny-face*_

_Yeah. It's okay. I'll be done tomorrow if I power through a few more this afternoon._

_SEB: Okay_  
SEB: But here's an idea  
SEB: Fuck off for the day and go with me to Wintermas

Wintermas was the school's idea of a non-denominational holiday celebration that ran through the middle of campus during Finals Week. Chris sighed.  _I don't know - I'm almost done._

_SEB: BABE_  
SEB: SNOW  
SEB: CAROLS  
SEB: BAAAAAAAAAAAABE

_Oh my god, how long have you been by yourself?_

_SEB: I JUST WATCHED THREE HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES  
SEB: I AM FEELING FUCKING FESTIVE_

_Okay okay! If only to get you out of the house!_

_SEB: Hell yes_

He hadn't seen Seb since that morning, when he'd woken up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to the gym before sitting down to grade this mountain of student work. Sebastian had nuzzled into his chest just briefly before letting him go, eyes never opening once. When he got back, Seb was awake and making coffee, already pouring it into a thermos for Chris to take to his office before taking his own back to his own place.

He wanted to wake up to that face every single day, Chris knew. It was just a matter of saying it.

Saying those three words that had so far eluded them both.

Chris wanted to say them. Wanted to say them so bad it made his teeth ache. But he'd always get so close - so fucking close - and then something would happen to interrupt the moment. A fire alarm. A student barging into the office during Chris's off hours. Dodger needing to be taken out for a walk. A dropped call.

It wasn't the universe doing this to him. Right? 

* * *

 

In Seb's defense, Wintermas was really cute, with booths parked up and down Marvel Way in the center of campus next to the library. Each department had a little something to sell or show off, whether cookies or holiday lights. Since Hanukkah was close, the Hillel Center had the place of honor at the top of the street. The heads of the Jewish Student Center had worked for a solid week on the beautiful blue-lit Star of David cresting their table.

The whole affair was designed to take the stress off and relax in the happiness of the season. There was even a light snowfall the previous day, blanketing the whole space in a sheen of crystal and white.

It was just hard to concentrate on the extreme holiday cheer being thrown down Chris's throat when all he could think about was grading. But Seb's boundless enthusiasm and wide open joy at the season stirred something in Chris's cold, anxious heart and made the day, the end of semester grind, just a little bit warmer.

A total escape from their daily responsibilities wasn't possible, even in a place as lovely as Wintermas. They even ran into some coworkers when Sebastian insisted on getting hot chocolate from the Women's Center booth. "Professor Evans!" one of them, a skinny little shit-stirrer named Tom, called out. He waved down his girlfriend Zendaya, who was currently in Sebastian's upper level children's literature course. "Good to see you," she enthused. "I'm up to my eyeballs in Medieval Literature essays. I wish this hot chocolate had whisky in it."

"Likewise," Sebastian replied with a grin. He wrapped his hands around the paper cup and motioned to the table, where Chris discovered one of his own waiting for him. Something flushed hot and bright in him, so strong he almost didn't hear Tom ask if they were doing anything special for Christmas. "Oh, uh..." he stared blankly. What the hell was he doing over break? Working on revisions? Figuring out the syllabus for his spring courses? Ordering textbooks? Hiding in a blanket fort and never coming up for air?

"I'm going to New York City to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, and then I'm hopefully going to see a Broadway show," Sebastian said confidently, popping Chris's crisis balloon. He turned to stare at Sebastian, who didn't meet his gaze but kept eye contact on Tom and Zendaya. "I also really think it's the perfect time of year to be really lazy for at least one day. Make cookies, watch  _Love Actually_ , cuddle on the couch. Did I steal your thunder, Tom?"

"No, but now that's what Z's gonna want to do over break," Tom grumbled, but it was clear he was being facetious. He adored Zendaya and everyone in the humanities program knew it. By the smile that flashed across Zendaya's face, Chris knew she felt the same. She loved him.

 

The Rainbow Center started blaring Mariah Carey as they trudged up the center of the street, checking out the department gingerbread house contests and the Christmas tchotchkes the bookstore was selling. They didn't hold hands. Students could be here. It wouldn't be appropriate. But oh, how Chris's fingers itched.

* * *

"So, who are you taking on this New York trip and the cookie/cuddle party? Do I need to kick somebody's ass?" Chris joked as they made it back to the Humanities building, happy and full from an impromptu stop at the local Asian spot for pho.

Seb just smiled, and laced his fingers with Chris's, eyes impossibly blue under the street lights. "I don't know. I was thinking about taking this guy I've been dating?"

"Oh really?" Chris chuckled, happy to play along.

"Yeah. Big blond, amazing eyes. Really great laugh. Smart as hell." Seb looked around before leaning in. His breath tickled the top of Chris's ear and Chris could _feel_ the smirk on his mouth. "And he takes a dick like nobody else."

Dammit. Chris could feel his flush all the way to the tops of his feet. Seb cackled. "And he blushes the second I say anything dirty. I'm obsessed with it."

"Yeah, well, I don't know if I'm going to do anything fun with the guy I'm dating. He's kind of a smartass." Chris shoved Sebastian playfully. 

"Yeah? Why do you even date that guy?" Sebastian said it lightly, but Chris could feel that fire in his chest again. He used his free hand to brush errant fly-aways from Sebastian's face, allowing his thumb to linger at the curve of that beautiful, diamond-cut jaw. 

"Because he drags me out of my office when he knows I need to stop stressing," he said quietly. "Because he's so damn smart, I learn something new every time I'm with him. Because he's got such a big heart.

"Because-" Chris sighed. No point in dragging it out. "He makes me happy."

Sebastian's smile grew softer, more bashful. "My guy makes me happy too. More than I thought possible, really."

Chris kissed him then, feeling chapped lips against his. The fire grew brighter.

"I love you," he murmured, lips still grazing Sebastian's.

Sebastian blinked, let out a coughing laugh of disbelief, before grinning so bright it threatened to throw gasoline on Chris's heart. "I love you too."

For a few moments they just stood there, absorbing the newness of it all, before Sebastian yanked Chris back in for a deeper kiss. "You bastard," he hissed, voice incandescent with happiness. "I had a  _plan_."

"Well, I fucked it up. Sorry not sorry." Chris curled his fingers around the collar of Sebastian's coat, holding him flush against him. "I'll make it up to you."

"Does that mean you'll finally admit that  _The Holiday_ is a better Christmas movie than  _Love Actually_?"

Chris pulled away, holding up his hands in mock defeat. "I take it back. I don't love you. I can't love anyone who thinks such sacrilege."

"Oh no you don't!" Sebastian threw his arms around Chris's neck, using that surprising strength to keep him from getting away. "You don't get to walk away now. This is it!"

Any chance of a smart rejoinder fell away from Chris's brain. "Yeah?" he asked, somewhat breathless. 

Sebastian looked up into Chris's eyes, chewing on the inside of his lip the way he always did when deep into his own thoughts. "Yeah."

Chris settled his hands on Sebastian's hips. "I love you."

"I know."

"You're such a fucking nerd-" Chris started to complain, but Seb's mouth was on his, and the warmth engulfed them both.


End file.
